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The following are some lessons I’m glad I took with me. Intimacy without vulnerability Every once in a while, a client would come for a first session with his heart set on having the amazing kinky experience he’d always dreamed of, but would end up disappointed because of something I had no control over: the walls wouldn’t budge.He had a very specific fantasy, but he wouldn’t be able to communicate specifically what it was.“Hoover maneuver” was coined after the name of a popular vacuum cleaner, alluding to the fact abusers often attempt to suction up narcissistic supply from prior sources (people).Individuals who have narcissistic tendencies typically lack solid, healthy self-concepts and must extract narcissistic supply from lovers, friends, colleagues, and/or family members to feel affirmed, adored, admired, attended to, nurtured, feared, or despised.I’m occasionally guilty of expecting people in my life to be able to read my mind. An accurate definition of sex Presumably, this is why commercial dungeons can operate legally in New York City—it’s also why they routinely get raided and shut down by law enforcement.If they could just do that, I’d have the ultimate fix: the intimacy I crave without risk of being misunderstood or rejected. It’s a never-ending effort on both sides to figure out if what pro doms are providing can be defined as prostitution.From 2002 to 2008, I worked as a professional dominatrix at three commercial dungeons in New York City. A few of the things I learned—and also a few of the things I had to un-learn—as a dominatrix, have proved valuable in other jobs, and in other parts of my life.

There is lack of 'uniformity', as far as this issue is concerned, among educators worldwide.

One such concept is “hoovering” by the emotionally abusive person.

When the cycle of “idealize, devalue, discard” is complete, a person with narcissistic qualities will often return to prior sources of narcissistic supply to see if he or she can tap such individuals for more ego-fueling attention, emotional reaction, sex, money, business advantages, a place to live, or other affirmations of his or her existence.

People encounter those with narcissism in love, work, and family relationships.

When I provide psychotherapy for survivors of narcissistic abuse, one of the first steps in the healing process is psychoeducation about narcissism and emotional abuse.




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