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This lead us to an obvious conclusion: there are a lot of parents out there searching for ways to extricate themselves from the manipulative clutches of their addicted, adult children. How do parents who dearly loves their addicted sons or daughters best help their children?Do you continue to meet their unending demands for money or do you go to the other extreme and follow a “tough-love” approach, cutting off all contact with them until they straighten up? Offering to pay for treatment, when they are ready, is a good start—assuming the treatment is one of the more effective options, rather than the standard, in our opinion, ineffectual, offerings of the AA/12-step/Minnesota Model.Even after the fight ends, a cold war ensues -- weeks of dramatic sighs, surly stares, and eye rolling.Some parents give up on the cleaning battle, despairing of ever getting their kids to pick up after themselves.Others start up a campaign of constant aggression, with lots of demands and threats and yelling.

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It will take some forethought and consistency on your part, and perhaps some changes in your behavior and expectations.Neither works well, and the tough-love approach is difficult to maintain, especially because you love them, and because there may be grandchildren in the mix, too. Not protecting them from their choices is also a good practice, because they have been protected for a long, long time if you are currently supporting them.Reassuring yourself that this lifestyle is their choice, not some mythical “disease,” also helps you feel less guilty about ramping down financial support. When you get to know our daughter, you’ll get to know us too. So be sure you’re comfortable with me seeing what you’re sending. I will ask you a lot of questions and make sure you know that I know how special my daughter is. No, I’m not going to be nosey, rude or obsessive about it But, if my daughter’s phone just happens to be laying on the table, and I see she’s gotten a text, I might take a look at it.




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one day after signing a new 3-year contract with the San Antonio Spurs. Tony and Axelle have been dating since 2011 -- the same year he finalized his divorce from Eva Longoria. Tony also signed on the dotted line with the Spurs on Friday. and almost guarantees the 32-year-old guard will play his entire NBA career in San Antonio.


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